Double Edged Sword

I wonder if maybeYour idea of me

Is a bigger picture

Than who I ended up being for you.

Your idea of me,

A pixelated puzzle trapped behind your phone screen

My true self hidden in the cracks

Of what I won’t let you see.
A side of me too jaded,

Too childish

Too broken

To feel what you think is admiration.

I’m sure your big picture is shrinking by the second

When you realize

I am far more sensitive than what you thought
Far too guarded, when it’s convenient

I cared for you when it was easy to lose myself

In something intangible

Your conversation was a breath of fresh air

Til I began to drown & lose my grip,

Falling further off the edge than I had anticipated

You check in every so often to nurse my self inflicted wounds,

But your grand gestures put me in position to portray the person you think I am

I could apologize for destroying your ideal image of the woman you tried molding me into

But who you were for me, never turned me submissive.
This isn’t love, nor anything close.

Time keeps passing me by, my heart more tangled by the second.
I am not who you imagined I would be

But I am strong enough to know;

Who I thought you were,

Is no better.

Waves

To the guy sitting next to me at the bar and hasn’t noticed yet…

I’m about to test you. 

To see if your mother raised you right or if you even have a heart….

We’ll engage in conversation about what we do. 

I’m a poet, you’re just here supporting a friend. 

I get up for a second and excuse myself, I just saw my boy walk in. 

As I gently leap from the barstool…

I glance back and catch you staring

First, you’re checking to see if I have anything worth looking at. 

Second….you notice. 

I stifle a chuckle & tilt my head like,

“Took you long enough, homie.”

See….women like me….

Women like me….

Who look as normal as a fly on the wall yet glide into rooms with confidence & grace….

We don’t shine the way we’re supposed to….society says. 

Now you’re stuttering, stumbling over your words….trying to make me feel comfortable.

Baby, I say, I’ve been uncomfortable for twenty-eight years, wipe that confused look off your face.

My disability, although never caught from up close, is not who I am. 

Who I am is conversation. 

I am not bravery, that’s foolish. 

I am heart, I am acceptance, confidence….

You? Just like the others….

Afraid of what people will say when you’re wrapped around my finger after I slip you my number. 

You’re afraid of women who are so sure of themselves because this was the way they were intended to be, despite what is given to them….

You know what happens to diamonds under pressure…..

We take it all in the heat of the moment.

You’re just another crashing wave….I’m sure there will be others 

DAY 5: MAYSOON ZAYID

First off, let me begin by saying Happy International Women’s Day! Years and years of fighting for our rights, and fighting to outshine the shadows we constantly live under. I am proud to be considered  a woman who has made an impact on a city which is growing rapidly in the art community.

Today’s woman, is comedian Maysoon Zayid. I first came across her TED Talk about two years ago, when a cousin of mine tagged me in it on Facebook. At first, I was confused as to why she did, but when I watched the video it all became clear.

This beautiful woman suffers from cerebral palsy. However, she does not let it consume her; and laughs in the faces of those who have doubted her. For my readers and supporters whom know me personally, can you see why I chose her as today’s woman?

For those of you whom aren’t familiar, I know exactly how Maysoon feels. Having been born with Hydrocephalus myself, the spotlight has not always been on me because of my talent. For years, I was the punchline of every joke told in middle and high school, and all of that was the fuel I needed to become the poet/woman/artist I am today.

It is because of women such as Maysoon that I am proud of being who I am; today, and always.

Here is the video of her TED Talk….prepare to laugh and cry.

 

DAY 4: ELIZABETH ACEVEDO.

TODAY’S influential woman is spoken word artist, Elizabeth Acevedo. She is a young Latina from New York City; just like myself.

I came across Elizabeth’s work once before, when I saw a video of a poem she had done with two young men, about names. That poem inspired me so much, that I begun to dig deeper into her work.

I stumbled upon a poem of hers titled “Hair,” which really struck me. I for one, have very curly hair, but always keep it “tamed.”  This poem made me realize that I should embrace my roots a little more, and God knows I have been trying.

Elizabeth has already toured countries and cities around the world, and continues to inspire people through her poetry daily. I hope to one day come across this genius, and hopefully some of her insight will rub off on me.

Here is a video of her poem, “Hair”